Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn´t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened... Read More
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.” Hearing... Read More
As the saying goes, “Timing is everything!” Deliver the punch line of a joke without enough pause, or too much pause, and the joke falls flat. Rush your proposal for marriage, and you may not be taken seriously. Apply for a job at the wrong time, and you won’t... Read More
In the hardware store, a clerk asked, “Can I help you find anything?” “How about my misspent youth,” joked my husband. The clerk shot back, “We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.” When we talk about time we have a variety of reactions. For... Read More
The slogan Keep Christ in Christmas has been around for a while now. We hear we’re supposed to keep Christ in Christmas, meaning we aren’t supposed to say Seasons Greetings but Merry Christmas apparently even to people whose religion we don’t know. This has always struck me as... Read More
Q: What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? A: Welfy. Q: Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? A: Because he had low elf-esteem. Q: When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him? A: Sandy Claus Macy’s 2016 Christmas slogan was... Read More
Sorting through the regular mail, a postal worker discovered a letter addressed as follows: GOD, c/o Heaven. The enclosed letter told about a little old lady who had never asked for anything in her life. She was desperately in need of $100 and was wondering if God could send her... Read More
One older person says, “Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk about a senior discount. It wasn’t to be. ‘Sir,’ she said, ‘this is a quilt museum. We give discounts to teenagers.’” ... Read More
