An atheist is telling a Christian how there is no God or life after death, and the Christian says, “Well, let me ask you this. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff—grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces...
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow, I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat. Always something more important to me. Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point....
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A teacher remembers: “The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?” And a student called out, “Wrinkles!” We can’t control what others say, can we?...
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An elderly man is traveling with a boy and his donkey. As they walked through a village the man was leading the donkey and the boy was walking behind. The townspeople said the old man was a fool for not riding, so he climbed up on the animal’s back. When they came to the...
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A father in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light, where it wasn’t allowed. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” he said. “That’s OK, Dad,” his son replied. “The police car right behind us did the same...
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Last Sunday, the pastor of a local church began his sermon with a supposedly true story. “I was on a plane last week, flying from Chicago to California, when we ran into some very severe turbulence. As it got worse, the passengers became more and more alarmed, and finally even...
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A newly-ordained pastor, in the first days of his first call, was attempting to console the widow of a man who had just died. Standing before the open casket, the nervous young pastor said, “I realize this must be a very hard blow for you, Mrs. Johnson. Just try to remember that...
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A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of showing off, the older worker had had enough. “Why...
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A family had an old grandfather clock that chimed every hour, once for one o’clock, twice for two o’clock, and so on. One night the clock malfunctioned, causing the chimes to ring thirteen times. A little boy heard it and raced through the house yelling “Get up, everyone, get up!...
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of...
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