Last Sunday, the pastor of a local church began his sermon with a supposedly true story. “I was on a plane last week, flying from Chicago to California, when we ran into some very severe turbulence. As it got worse, the passengers became more and more alarmed, and finally even...
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A newly-ordained pastor, in the first days of his first call, was attempting to console the widow of a man who had just died. Standing before the open casket, the nervous young pastor said, “I realize this must be a very hard blow for you, Mrs. Johnson. Just try to remember that...
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A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of showing off, the older worker had had enough. “Why...
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A family had an old grandfather clock that chimed every hour, once for one o’clock, twice for two o’clock, and so on. One night the clock malfunctioned, causing the chimes to ring thirteen times. A little boy heard it and raced through the house yelling “Get up, everyone, get up!...
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of...
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Hey, I’ve got a great knock knock joke but you’ve got to start it off. (They say, “knock knock.”) Who’s there? (confused silence.) Did you hear about the guy who got fired from his job at the bank? An old lady came in and asked him to check her balance, so he pushed her over. I’m...
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A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from...
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“It’s true what they say: Money isn’t everything, but it certainly keeps you in touch with your children—or grandchildren.” I heard a very wise policy on shopping and spending money. It may sound a little drastic, but it has the ring of truth to it. This person sai...
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Someone was working a crossword puzzle and asked, “What is a fourletter word for a strong emotional reaction toward a difficult person. It ends in ‘e’?” Someone standing nearby said, “Hate.” Another person looked at it and replied, “No, the answer is...
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I was a little surprised when my son suddenly announced one day after church, “I am thinking of being a Minister when I grow up.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Well, I figure I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, and I think it’ll be more fun to stand and yell then to just sit and...
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